Suspension of operations imminent.

Suspension of operations imminent. Abandon all hope all ye who reside here. Betterment of the truth will be conducted at http://betterthanthetruth.tumblr.com/ Thank you to all the readers who I doubt the existence of.

Weatherman

I been spendin' all my time on rainy days, yeah
And after all this time I think I deserve a little sunshine, yeah
Cause I'm all about keeping my happy counter up
Brush the negatives off my shoulders and pull my collar up
The breeze has its chill, and I've got mine
And if you wanna rain on my parade, well get in line

I've got an endless line of suitors that are all rain clouds
And a jacket for every day of the week, when I turn them down
So even when the clouds start to make you frown
Sometimes a ray of sunshine will come and tell you flat out

Don't worry now, little soul
This will all turn around, don't you know
The weather is no more constant than your doubt
And when you're ready the blue sky will come out
Don't worry now, little soul
You're gonna feel better soon, don't you know
And when the gray sky starts getting you down
Just cast down your doubt cause the blue is coming now

I've heard some say their days are nothin' but rain
And they can't remember the last time they saw a smilin' face
Be it on a neighbor or in the mirror or anyplace
But I don't think they're looking hard enough anyway

I've got an endless line of suitors and they're all rain clouds
And a jacket for every day of the week, when I turn them down
So even when the clouds start to make you frown
Sometimes a ray of sunshine will come and tell you flat out

Don't worry now, little soul
This will all turn around, don't you know
The weather is no more constant than your doubt
And when you're ready the blue sky will come out
Don't worry now, little soul
Just pull your collar up, and let it go
And when the gray sky starts getting you down
Just cast down your doubt cause the blue is coming now

Yeah, little soul, you got an endless line of rainclouds, don't you know
And when you feel like it's never gonna work out, just keep your chin up
Cause the blue, the blue, the blue, its coming now
The blue, blue, blue, its coming now, blue, blue, blue, its coming now
Don't be blue, just be true, you know the sky, has to do what it has to do
So even if you feel so far down, just keep your chin up
The blue is coming now

Conviction

Crucified beneath the statue of a lie
Well I wont be taking the blame
I wont be the martyr this time
I've been a little busy, maybe more than I should
But you can't just burn me down
For coulda, woulda, might do

And I know what they say, when my back is turned
You can turn it all around, but what really hurts
Is that you took forgiveness for granted, and me too
Because I'm not the problem, no the problem is you

Hands held high as we pray for death
You know that's not the normal consensus
But here's whats left, you see
It wasn't what I did because I didn't
But what did you, if you had it lined up so easy
What've you been up to

And I know what they say, when my back is turned
You can turn it all around, but what really hurts
Is that you took forgiveness for granted, and me too
Because I'm not the problem, no the problem is you

Joy for the jury that I never had
And for the executioner with the knife in my back
Because you can spend your days tryina be a better man
But you'll never outrun your past cause no one gives a damn
So joy for the jury that I'll never get
And for the right words that I don't have, that will remain unsaid
Because you can spend your days tryina tell me what I am
But you'll never understand cause you don't give a damn

Cause it ain't about the actions or the truth
Its about right and wrong, and one never fits you
So thank you to my jury, all one of you
Its about right and wrong and one never fits you

Materials

Someone fill these kids in, let them know
What I wear and what I drive because because
That's all they need to see, to see
Exactly who I am

Look at all my pretty things
Materials, I need a little more
I need a little more to be happy
To be happy
Look at all my pretty things
Materials, I need a little more
I need a little more to be happy
To be happy

Let them know what I've done
Who I've had to step on and sacrifice
Spit in friends faces, just to get
A few more dollars for another day

Look at all my pretty things
Materials, I need a little more
I need a little more to be happy
To be happy
Look at all my pretty things
Materials, I need a little more
I need a little more to be happy
To be happy

Not Okay Not Okay Not Okay

So no, I'm not alright. Since you asked anyway.
I feel invalid, like I'm stamped void, past expiration.
I'm also past negotiation. I don't want to talk.
Because every sentence I let you complete completely destroys me,
Along with whatever resolve I built up since the last one.
The silence is almost comforting at this point.

What if I said these things to you?
Do you want to hear how short lived I think we'll be?
Or how I feel when you talk to these new people?
Or how many times a day I think about how unlike your dream partner I am?
How would you feel hearing these things? And how am I supposed to feel?
What do you expect from me?

I'm not sure if you don't know what to do, or not to do.
Cause I feel like it should just come natural sometimes.
When to hold, when to hold back. When the tears are being held back.
I'm not saying you need to read my mind,
But maybe read into my answer a little bit.
See just how not alright I really am.
Some things just shouldn't have to be said.

It ruins my whole day, and then some.
No amount of sleep or times making it come undone.
My chest is still tight, the tears are still inside.
My eyes feel hot and heavy from the releases I've denied them.
All in the name of getting to sleep earlier for a new day to rise.

And that day is just like the one before,
And I'm not sure if I can handle the load anymore.
Any time I catch up more gets added on.
So I'm always a step behind, always just out of time.
More hours, more bills.
The more I try to get to the end, the more loose threads.

So what now? What should I do? What do I say to you?
I love you but I'm not okay. I love you but it can't be this way.
I love you but you need to act like you care.
I love you but you can't leave me alone out here.

Distances

Losing my grip on things, the people and the places
All the things I once sacrificed to keep close
Used to panic if they were beyond arms length
And now they're further than the horizon
And I don't even know, how to pull them back

They used to say, that best friends was forever
And nothin' that you did could break that
I used to be so sure, used to believe it to my core
But that isn't how it feels at least not anymore

The current gets so strong, that you can't fight it
And as it pulls you all apart, you accept it
So you take the memories that you have and savor
Try to make plans, that just fall through

More fragments...

You do the right thing, they make you feel strange
Doing what anyone should have, you're the outcast
It's something they just can't understand
Growing up on the idea, that you take and give nothing back
I'm just waiting for the right time to get up and attack

Its the greed they're taught, not the seeds they grow
Grow up and turn around and teach the little ones where not to go
I wonder sometimes, where I'd be if I were one of those
Probably drugged up with pants sagged and five regular gas

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Insert)

How did I get this way?
I don’t know, but I’ve been thinking,
And maybe that’s my problem.

I know the wrong way,
And I’ve been the example
Want to lose hope?
The reasons are ample.

Did I lose you? Cause I lost me.
They tell me money is the key,
But I'm just another poor soul sweeping the street.

How did I get this way?
I don’t know, but I’ve been thinking,
And maybe that’s my problem.

Burnt Picks

Shes a quick one, can't pull the wool over her eyes
And hes a sly one, you won't catch him saying any goodbyes
Cause you can't kill what you can't catch
And you can't blame the fire for the burnt match

They say you lapse into it and then you just sleep
They say they go away, and then you just weep
But I won't close my eyes, wont shed a tear
And if you ask nicely, I'll take you there
Cause I know a place, and its cheap
But its precious anyway, so come with me

And shes a quick one, you can't pull the wool over her eyes
And hes a sly one, you won't catch him giving any goodbyes
Cause you can't kill what you can't catch
And you aren't going to blame the fire for the burnt match

They say you're brought into at a young age
They say you're taken before you can let the words dissipate
But I won't go there, I won't let them take me
And if you ask nicely, we can see about next day delivery
Cause I know a place, and its cheap
But its precious anyway, least it is to me

And shes a quick one, you can't pull the wool over her eyes
And hes a sly one, you won't catch him giving any goodbyes
Cause you can't kill what you can't catch
And you aren't going to blame the fire for the burnt match
No, you aren't going to blame the fire for the spent match

They say, they say, they say,
But I won't listen, I won't listen, no
They say, they say, they say,
But I won't listen, I won't listen, no
They say, they say, they say,
But I won't listen, I won't listen, no

Don't blame the fire for the burnt match

Get Movin'

Every which way, that you can be
I've already been there
Every place you find, spend your five and dime
I've already moved on

You see I'm just waiting on the brink
A bus stop before the last stop to the last place
That any of us will ever be
You're putting faith into someone's fate
And I'm just wondering what any of us will ever be

But come on, feel comfortable
Let it go, feel natural
But come on, feel comfortable
Let it go, feel natural

Every idea that you've had, every inspiration
I've already tried that
Every moment of clarity, and prosperity
I've already moved on

Cause I don't suffer from the same delusion
My hang ups are not on hook ups or getting hooked up
Cause that's the worst you could ever be
I may have the same doctor but I'm a different case
I may have the same look but I'm still a different face

But come on, feel comfortable
Let it go, feel natural
But come on, feel comfortable
Let it go, feel natural

And how are you today
Not that I care,
Just thought maybe I should ask
And how are you today
Not that I care,
Just thought maybe I should ask
And how are you today
Not that I care,
Just thought maybe I should ask

Friends Don't Let Friends Have Friends Who Have Friends Who Are Enemies Of Friends

I know the signs and this is where it begins
It was just occasional, but now its necessitive
And just as they deny their dependance
I hold my independence high and grin

Your lies, they have changed you
It hides around the eyes
And the fumes, they cling close by
Don't you know you can't hide
I was never blind, and this is all you know now

I don't know if its worth talking to them
Pulling them back to shore just to jump back in
And just as I feel like we can shake hands freely
They do it again, don't you tell me

Your lies, they have changed you
It hides around the eyes
And the fumes, they cling close by
Don't you know you can't hide
I was never blind, and this is all you know now

I can't keep letting you let me down
Time and time again
I can't keep putting faith in friends
Time and time again

I see what you're doing
I see what you're doing

I've seen them when its all fine
And back then I'd have never believed
But now its right in front of me
And I've seen them when its all fine
And back then I didn't want to believe
But now its staring back at me

And so there's nothing left to lose,
Cause they've already left me
There's nothing left to lose
Cause they've already left me

Temporary

They told me, you are a body, you have a soul
And you'll exist long after your bones go cold
But I didn't believe, and I still don't weep
At the knowledge that I am just temporary
So stifle your self importance, kick back
The world isn't revolving around you
And it'll never change based on what you do

Skin and bones never broke the chain
Never changed fate, in your face
Skin and bones never stopped the rotation
We are temporary, temporary

Accept that you're not the sun, you're not the one
We're not the heroes we were led to believe
Growing up listening to the voices and the movie screen
We're not the rock stars we were supposed to be

Skin and bones never broke the chain
Never changed fate, in your face
Skin and bones never stopped the rotation
We are temporary, temporary

You have no soul, and neither do I
You can work with your hands, or kneel and talk to the sky
No matter where you go, or what you do
The world is never going to revolve around you
You have no soul, and neither do I
And you can work those hands, or talk to that sky
But as you ask your god for his blessing, on your knees
We are out there being what we have to be
Temporary, temporary

Skin and bones never broke the chain
Never changed fate, never broke the chain
Skin and bones, we are temporary, temporary

The Last Pope

Quote from verse, as if from experience
Because if you've read it, then you understand it
That's how you work, that's how you work
And I know better because I've learned
But you stay on that path, stay on that track
Isn't that right righteous man

I can take a breath of air
Anywhere I please
I don't worry about poison no,
Because I'm already in it
I can take a breath of air, anywhere
That I please, yeah
Because I'm already in it,
Yeah I'm already in it, I am

Judge as if you are also jury and executioner
Because if you have an opinion you're as good as a witness
Well isn't that how it works hmm
But we know better because we learned, we've been burned
By the same fire that grants false light to your eyes\

I can take a breath of air
Anywhere I please
I don't worry about poison no,
Because I'm already in it
I can take a breath of air, anywhere
That I please, yeah
Because I'm already in it,
Yeah I'm already in it, I am

I am the devil, I am the flawed
I am the martyr, I am the scarred
And you claim holy authority
But man is not my king
And your god doesn't mean a thing
Yeah I am the devil, I am the flawed
I am the martyr, I am the scarred
And you are not my king, you are not my king
No little man no, you don't mean anything

Transparency

You can scream, and you can fight
You can kick, make a fuss and you can
Bring me down all you want tonight
But there are people watching
Even if you don't see
Someone's gonna show you the way
Even if it's not me

Cause you ignore the pictures, contradicting you from their frames
And you ignore the tally on the wall, adding up day after day


What are you going to do when the time comes
And I've gone out the door
What are you going to do when you're alone
Cause I just couldn't take anymore


Don't you know that I can see right through you
Don't you know that I can see right through you
Don't you know I can see right through you

Cause you aren't so hard to figure out, after the first few times
And it isn't all that hard crying yourself to sleep
After you've done it night after night

What are you going to do when the time comes
And I'm not sobbing on the floor
What are you going to do when I'm fed up
And I can't take anymore

Don't you know that I can see right through you
Don't you know that I can see right through you
Don't you know I can see right through you

And every time you ignore, what I've done
And every time another, situation is spun
Don't you know I see right through
Don't you know I see right through
Don't you know, I'm looking right through you

Fuck Politics, I Just Want To Burn Shit Down

So what are you fighting for, what are you dying for
Do you even know, or did you even ask
Before you, signed up to become
A contract killer, they pay your wage
Tell you who to slay, and patriotism washes away
The responsibility

They tell me one more show
And you might tip the scales
And set the world on fire
Well what do they mean
Cause I could care less about album sales
But I want congress to burn
So if I spurn the praise
Does that make the criticism valid
Or just complaints

So what are you fighting for, what are you dying for
Do you even know, or did you even ask
Before you, signed up to become
A contract killer, they pay your wage
Tell you who to slay, and patriotism washes away
The responsibility

I'll never be one,
Cause the fighting's never done
And 'for country' is no excuse
They tell me one more interview
And they'll listen to you
But what do they mean
Cause I could care less about personal questions
But I'd like to see a revolution
But does one, feed or kill the other

So what are you fighting for, what are you dying for
Do you even know, or did you even ask
Before you, signed up to become
A contract killer, they pay your wage
Tell you who to slay, and patriotism washes away
The responsibility

I know I'm getting here a little late
But does that make my point invalid
I know I'm just one more
But I know that this is not okay
That's why I'm here today

So what are you fighting for, what are you dying for
Can you really justify your actions
When you are alone with yourself
Do you need a little help
Does the bottle help wash it all away

What are you fighting for
What are you dying for
Is this what you wanted to be

Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine

I know that you've had your doubts
And I'm trying to get this figured out
If you could just give me the time
To reassure you, and listen
Yeah listen, and

Breathe, breathe in and out
Take your time and get this all down
Open up your ears and free up your mind
Yeah, just give the time
To show you why you should be mine

I know you're trying to get me out
Trying to get me to confirm your doubts
But I can't say what isn't true
I'm just trying to tell you
Trying to tell you to

Breathe, breathe in and out
Take your time and get this all down
Open up your ears and free up your mind
Yeah, just give the time
To show you why you should be mine

You can't deny
That I've tried
You can't tell me
That I haven't been
Everything I could be

And even though I'm not quite what you want
I'm making strides to the spot, of where I need to be
So come on, come on, come on,

Breathe, breathe in and out
Take your time and get this all down
Open up your ears and free up your mind
Yeah, just give the time
To show you why you should be mine
You're mine

Ease

I know that you've been worried
Second guessing and obsessing
But let me put your mind at ease
Let me take your hand, if you please
I can show you the way out
My little teapot, short and stout

I know that you've been worried
Second guessing and obsessing
So let me put you out of your misery
And get you back on your feet
It ain't so bad, it ain't so bad
Don't worry now, it ain't so bad

I'm a mess of bad habits, and even worse ideas
Don't worry, I'll swallow all your fears
Take them down and absorb them into my blood
Carry them until you get through this one
I'm a mess of bad habits, and even worse ideas
Don't worry it's all downhill from here
You say you worry about it being enough
Well kid, after this, it ain't so tough

I know that you've been thinking
Connecting dots and linking
Trying to get it all figured out
When you could've just asked
If I was stepping out

I know that you've been thinking
I know you want to know what I've been doing
So let me just put you at ease
I know that this hasn't been easy
But I think if you look long and hard enough
You'll see that I am devoted to this love

I'm a mess of bad habits, and even worse ideas
Don't worry, I'll swallow all your fears
Take them down and absorb them into my blood
Carry them until you get through this one
I'm a mess of bad habits, and even worse ideas
Don't worry it's all downhill from here
You say you worry about it being enough
Well kid, after this, it ain't so tough

So that's it, you don't have to worry
Not about us, and not about me
I've got it covered, I got it handled, it's enough
We're both givin' it our all, and still feeling snubbed

But don't you worry
In the morning, we'll be all cozy
Warm and safe, smiling sweetly
Don't worry cause when it's all said and done
I think you'll fine I've been devoted to this love

Talk!

Oh to be loved, oh to be snubbed
To be held and held at arms length
The subtleties that become drastic
The emotions that become plastic
Forging ahead and forging smiles
To keep plastered on our faces
There's just no way to brace for this

I just want to scream
Talk!
Say something, say anything
I just want to scream
Talk!
Do something, do anything
And I just want you
To make this feeling go away

Oh to be missed, to be regretted
To be held and held at arms length
Only sometimes appreciating intentions
Being careful of what we mention
Did I fail to remind you
Did I fail to guide you
And put your hand right on my heart

I just want to scream
Talk!
Say something, say anything
I just want to scream
Talk!
Do something, do anything
And I just want you
To make this feeling go away

And I'm sick, of living in texts
That are so much more desirable than this
You wouldn't say it if you didn't mean it
Or at least, that's what I tell myself
Wish you'd ask for my help
Or ask for anything, to keep me close
But I feel like the person you can't stand the most

So talk, let me know
Talk, and let me go
Let loose this sad grip

Oh So Lethal

She said "I love you but you're difficult"
But I think the word she was looking for was 'impossible'
They say I've always got an answer and
I always think I know the truth
And it never bothered me (Never was, never was a problem)
Never bothered me until you

You showed up,
Told me I wasn't getting anywhere
In the state I was in
I was a walking car crash just waiting to happen
Or maybe the words you were looking for were dead man
Dead man walking
And you wouldn't be waiting
On this accident to happen

She said "I love you but you're difficult"
But I think the word she was looking for was 'impossible'
They always say I'm gonna be the next one to go
And the risks I take will get me in the end
But since they're injecting, smoking, and snorting their poisons (Poison)
I just let it go but

You showed up,
Told me I wasn't getting anywhere
In the state I was in
I was a walking car crash just waiting to happen
Or maybe the words you were looking for were dead man
Dead man walking
And you wouldn't be waiting
On this accident to happen

She said "I love you but you're difficult"
I think the word she wanted was 'irresistible'
Cause I'm trying to change my ways
But she's always trying to change my face (And I just can't keep pace!)
So tell me which mask is the most preferable
And I'll do my best to graft it to my skin
And then maybe, just maybe, maybe

You showed up,
Told me I wasn't getting anywhere
In the state I was in
I was a walking car crash just waiting to happen
Or maybe the words you were looking for were dead man
Dead man walking
And you wouldn't be waiting
On this accident to happen
Waiting to happen, waiting to happen
Accident, dead man, car crash
Waiting to happen

Cemetery Weather Re-Write

(((Original credit to Isles and Glaciers)))

I never knew what I would do if anybody tried to take you away
And your beautiful boy won't wait for you,
Because he's busy with his stars and the fame
(Oh what a shame)

And I don't know why I breathe, it's taking too long for me
Can we speed up the process please? (Cause if I want to feel alive)
Then you're the one I need

I need somebody crazy enough to tell me (Somebody)
I will love you 'til we ('til we are)
Buried close together in the cemetery (Cemetery weather)
Cemetery Weather

I never knew what I would do if anybody tried to speak your name
I would tear down their house, burn it to the ground
All the while picturing memories of your face
Cause I would do anything (Anything, anything)
This love is a selfish thing (No matter what you say)
It'll feed off the wounds that bleed
Then tear you away from me

I need somebody crazy enough to tell me (Somebody)
I will love you 'til we ('til we are)
Buried close together in the cemetery (Cemetery weather)
Cemetery Weather

Violent delight, we'll live as if we died (Cemetery)
Died in the cemetery weather, (Cemetery weather)
Violent delight, we'll live as if we died (Cemetery)
Died in the cemetery weather, (Cemetery weather)
My violent delight, violent delight


So come on, come on, I'm not leaving without you
And if we die then we die, and I'll sing this buried with you

I never knew what I would do if somebody tried to take you away
They better not even try, better not even speak your name
And I'll keep them all away, and keep you close to me
Six feet under but never more than a heart apart
I've been running from the truth from the start

I need somebody crazy enough to tell me (Somebody)
I will love you 'til we ('til we are)
Buried close together in the cemetery (Cemetery weather)
Cemetery Weather

[Instrumental]

I never knew what I would if anybody tried to take you away

A Monster Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

They better watch out
If they try to take you away
They don't know what might happen
And a monster is a terrible thing to waste

I needed someone who could teach me
Teach me to respect my
Face in the mirror
And not put so much on my own shoulders

I never wanted to believe
That it would happen
But you're the one who saved me
When my demon's jaws opened

And they better watch out
They better not try
To take you from me
They can't even see

I needed someone who could help me
Forgive me for my faults
And tell me I wasn't the cause

I never ever believed
That anyone would try
To save a wretch like me

And they better not try
To take you from me
Cause I won't let it happen
And if I try to stop them

They better not try
They better believe
Believe in ghost stories
Let their fear do the talking

They better not try
They better believe
That I am the beast
And know what I mean
Cause a monster is a terrible thing to waste

Quiet

This is one of those quiet things, that no one will ever know.
So it doesn't matter if you do or don't show.
I'm not counting on you to be there.
I'm not saying that I care.
Until I know if you do.

Bumps

Pass the blame and take the credit
Everybody works hard but no one gets it
Its never enough, and you cant trust
And so the paranoia becomes your only friend

Smaller than the numbers on your debit card
All the times we took things too far
Maybe its time to close the case
If only so you can save some face

And I spent my life bottled up
Afraid it was never gonna be enough
But the stockpile will run out
That's when it becomes time to doubt

So maybe I'm out of love
Have I given enough out
I'm feeling like I'm in a drought
Another fish just flopping along the shore

So what if they weren't there
The fact is they all cared
When it was just me, and my screen
And I didn't have you to take care of things

But you make me complete now
Not quite sure I know how
But you always know what to say
And just seeing you, chases away the pain

I think I'm running out of words
Not sure if anyone's heard
A single out out of all I wrote
But it just proves the point
That this is the only thing I know

First good one in awhile

We're just confessions in the interrogation room,
We're giving it all away and giving ourselves up
We care about being judged, so we let them win
And we can't take back the reactions we gave them

We're like the confessional between the sinner and saint in adjoining boxes
We're being let out after being compressed and repressed
And trying to hide the distress of being removed from the chest
Of someone who was finding it too much to bear

There's beauty in this, in being something with weight
Put in the wrong spot, we just bring the whole thing down
But put to good use, we're empowering, heavy little generators
Just waiting to be placed and switched on

So don't waste that time, make it well spent
And don't think of what happens when you don't have a dollar left
Because it's paper, and there's plenty to be acquired
But contrary to belief, time isn't money,
I've learned this the hard way:

You can't buy back the opportunities you've missed

High Tide

Walking in the rain
Little did you know
Just a quick stroll around the block
Wishing the pain or my heart would stop
Cause its gotten to be a tug of war
Doing all you can, and always needing to do more

Well stop, let it go, down
Let the tides make their way out
Stop, let it go down
If its meant to be its meant to be
And if not then we'll drown

Walking in the rain
And little did I know
That I spent the whole dinner and ride home
Thinking it was me, when that was only part
Trying to make you see that you've still got my heart

Well stop, let it go, down
Let the tides make their way out
Stop, let it go down
If its meant to be its meant to be
And if not then we'll drown

And what makes it worse
Is I never know who made you hurt
And what makes it worse
Is no matter who's at fault
You make me feel like I'm the one doing wrong

Let it go down
Let it go down
Or let me drown...

Cause you're what keeps me swimming
And I'm just trying to live and
Do what I need to
Cause you're going through so much
Trying to be there for you
But you make me feel like nothings enough
So let it go down

Let it go down
Let it go
Down

Value

There are people who make more in a day, than I will in all my life.
But that ain't my goal, so that's alright. I'm just trying to find a way to survive.
And still manage to be able to sleep when I lay down at night.

Lovelovelove

Sometimes we do things we don't mean to do. Or sometimes the things we do get taken in ways we don't mean. Sometimes its hard just getting the simple things to be sent and received with the proper intentions and tones.

No matter how difficult it gets at times, and no matter how I feel at any given moment, I know how I feel in my core, I know which feelings are temporary and which stay true no matter what.

I love you dear.

No Past, Only Present, No Future

Pleasantries forgotten, it was intensity with no pardons
Everything of the moment canceled past and future
And nothing you could say or do could move her
From the decision upon which she was sittin'
It was all decided, no point in even listenin'
Cause before the time clock was punched
It was all smiles and love
And by the time lunch break well,
Lets see if the break hit

Cause its all a suitable solution
If it calms the emotion
And gives another pause
Does anyone look beyond
Or are we all stuck in our jars
Lids of the present keeping us on
Like lightening bugs who can't turn off

I suppose by the time it gets, to quittin' time
We'll be lost in a sea of lines, all for nothing
But grasping for something to hold on to
Cause its not just a matter of what you're wantin'
But a matter of what you've got and,
All you may have, someday
And if I ever make it back, after I go down that track
Well I'm hoping its just not for good
Yeah I'm hoping its not for good

Cause its all a suitable solution
If it calms the emotion
And gives another pause
Can we look beyond the venom
See past the present
Or look back, on all we've come through

I feel like it always comes to tears,
Always comes down to the same fears,
Every time that there's work to do
I feel like it's always another beginning
Like we haven't been winning
Thus far, against all who said we wouldn't
Now come on, who are you talkin' to

Cause its never a suitable solution
Its never gonna stop all the emotion
Just delay it, for a day when you
Can't hold back the gates
Can't deny that this is fate
And this what we were meant, to do

But I guess I'll find out soon
Yeah I guess I'll find out soon

Snippet

And if you want to
You can take me in my sleep
I'm done fighting, no resistance
You can take me

Lovercoaster

No matter how hard you press, you can't end this distress
I'm going to expire as soon as we aren't us anymore
You can't pull me back, can't save me, I'm tied to the tracks
And it's all for nothing now

I'll jump at you, scalpel first
Take from your chest what I deserve
I'll jump at you scalpel first
Take from you what I deserve

Punishments are....Punishments are...
Free with the purchase of one last request!
No matter how you dissect what was
I know that I gave it my best
Some come and protest!
In front of the factory of my love
Say it wasn't real, say it wasn't enough!

And I'll jump at you, scalpel first
Take from your chest what I deserve
Yeah, I'll jump at you scalpel first
Take from you what I deserve

End us and give me my death sentence
I've been waiting long enough, come on and give me hell
I've been waiting long enough, give me my funeral bells

Luxury

Luxury
Luxury cars, luxurious homes and things. The simple concept of luxury, being able to afford something of splendorous grandeur. But these items are not the only things that I would attach to the word.

Because some people have the luxury of feeling a certain way. They get to feel, get to express that feeling, get to own that feeling completely and others cannot. I am trapped in such a situation. I cannot afford to be angry, I don't have the currency, the worth to feel anything but regret and be upset. And I can be hated, despised, others can be angry at me and they can afford to do it as much as they like.

Time and time again they can pay the price with ease and I the poor man must settle to watch them display their wealth with a wanting eye. I'd say I'm almost jealous of the feelings they can afford. If only I had such wealth, such ability. If only I was worth enough to feel these things.

If only it would change.

No number of conversations, no number of days spent, no amounts of support or understanding afford me anything. Because apparently they mean nothing. Apparently its taken for granted and taken as read that anyone who felt any way would do these things. And my word is taken not at face value but at no value. As if it would change at any moment when in reality I have been the constant one, I have been the one not to falter in how I feel. But that is also given no heed, because no matter how many days I stay constant, no matter how long I stay and be everything I can, no amount of support, no thanks given for the words of comfort they are dollar store trinkets being handed to someone who could get them anywhere from anyone. I have been made common and redundant.

And you'd think after such I'd be allowed just a little anger, a little annoyance, just a smidgen of outrage. But it is not to be.

I could live with that though, those emotions are not pleasant ones to feel. Not that their replacements of feeling worthless and sad are any better. I could live with it if it was at least appreciated that the most genuine feelings I have on my deepest levels are needs for atonement. My deepest desires are to make right what I have wronged and to make happy, but even if I were the most conniving, deceitful, hurtful sort of being who cared nothing for these things, I would certainly be treated just the same.

That's why I hold back tears now, that's why I shake, why my stomach ties itself into complex shapes. Because I, the worthless poor man, even though he tries to just be a good man, would be in the same boat were I a loathsome evil thing.

So enjoy your luxury, while my worth spirals down, and I continue to sport a frown. Oh what I'd pay for a smile.

Make It Hurt, Make It Count

How does that victory taste
Yeah is it sweet is it everything
You wanted it to be
You can cast those looks
Same as you'd cast those stones
I hope that glass house is mighty comfortable

If you wanted to make this hurt
(Well, you've gone and done it now)
If you wanted this to burn
(Well,you've gone and done it now)
If you wanted this to be eating me alive
(Well baby, you got it down this time)

How does it feel to know
That your goals are all accomplished
All you've got now are solved problems
I hope I proved myself useful
Useful, and replaceable

And if you wanted to make this hurt
(Well, you've gone and done it now)
If you wanted this to burn
(Well,you've gone and done it now)
If you wanted this to be eating me alive
(Well baby, you got it down this time)

If you wanted to make me sweat
If you wanted to make this a source of regret
If you were aiming for the heart
Well I'd say your arrow
Found its mark

Arrow found its, arrow found its
Arrow found

If you wanted to pierce straight through me
If you wanted to undo me
If you wanted this to be
Something I'd not forget to soon
Well it seems like
You've got nothin' left to prove...

Keep It Up

I keep my envy out on the coast
Keep it from coming inland
Cause I miss you the most
But you're happy where you are
And I'm so selfishly sad here
But that's okay (Yeah that's okay)
Its only four years

And then you'll be out and about
You'll find out (Eventually)
You'll be out and about
And I'll still be right here (Waiting)

I keep my honesty out in front
Keep the lies from coming up
Cause I can't stand your questions
When you know I'm lying (But it's so inviting)
And I'm trying not to go back on my word

And then you'll be out and about
You'll find out (Eventually)
You'll be out and about
And I'll still be right here (Waiting)

Yeah I know you'll find out
What I've been all about
I know that you'll find out
And then I'll just be waiting
You'll find out
What I've been all about
And then I just have to wait
For you to catch me
On my
Mistakes

Ever After

Never wanted to know the sound of your tears hitting the floor
But I've found out, the words gotten around and
I'm the one who should be the enemy in their war
I know its what I deserve but please don't go back for more

I never wanted to see such a distraught look on your face
Now I've laid eyes on it, it hurts so deep, and I wish I wasn't alive
I'm the one who should be struggling to keep breath in my lungs
I know its what I deserve but please don't sing that song

Never wanted to believe that you could do without me so easily
But I see you're starting to get over the breaking
I'm the one who you should've been blaming, shaming, erasing
I know its what I deserve but don't make this goodbye long

I've seen so much pass through your eyes
When you try and tell me there's nothing bothering you
And they start to shine

Never wanted to believe that you could do without me so easily (But you're doing okay)
I never wanted to see such a distraught look on your face (Now you're only smiling)
Never wanted to know the sound of your tears hitting the floor (Replaced by laughter)
I never wanted to think you'd be better without me (Living happily ever after)



Thank you to States for the inspiration for this one.

This Could Be It

I've been looking for the right words,
But I've got to get ready for work.
I'll do my shift, and when I come home I'll sleep.
And when I wake, it should all be over,
And I should know by then what to do.

But I've got a bad taste in my mouth.
I remember going to sleep after having you,
And waking up to such horrible news.

Oh please don't let the past repeat,
Don't let us end here and now.
I've been told that love should be enough.
Well I don't know if that's true,
But when it comes to you,
It never comes easy, no.

I've been looking for signs to have hope,
But I've been hurt enough.
I'll do my shift, and when I come home I'll sleep.
And when I wake, it should all be over,
And I should know by then what to do.

But I've got a bad taste in my mouth.
Yeah, I remember going to sleep after having you,
And waking up to such horrible news.


Oh please don't let the past repeat,
Don't let us end here and now.
I've been told that love should be enough.
Well I don't know if that's true,
But when it comes to you,
It never comes easy, no.

It's never something that I can just drink down.
So I hold my nose and hope that I drown.
I've been told to hold my head high, presume the best
And if the worst happens it'll still be alright.
Well I don't think that that's true,
But when it comes to you well
I'm hoping that love is enough.

I'm hoping that love is enough.

Incompleteeeeee

Signal the retreat,
Living in the shadows
Has got to be better than defeat
I watch as my fingers fall back
I drift into safer areas
Withdrawing my attack

Reaction was saved for a dramatic entrance
And I was saved because I repented
You're still the same old doomed soul
But I end up fucked anyway
Cause we're just two halves of a whole

Mail Order Homicide

Let me take the time to pause this moment
Perfection is halted, execution exalted
I am the most likely to get too wrapped up in this
Please just give me a moment and halt this kiss

Cause forever just seems so far away
And you never want to talk about more than today
I'm leaning forward over the horizon
Your name is written in the sky and I'm struggling
To just keep this composed facade upon my face

Please tell me you won't fall apart
When you receive the package containing my heart
Please tell me you won't fall apart
When you receive my last goodbye

Let me take a moment here, just calm down
The construction is halted, oh this house
Reminds me of us, sitting empty and half finished
We could never reach a milestone of progress
Maybe there's a sign in this

Cause forever just seems so far away
And you never want to talk about more than today
I'm leaning forward over the horizon
Your name is written in the sky and I'm struggling
To just keep this composed facade upon my face

So please tell me you won't fall apart
When you receive the package and the screaming starts
Please tell me you won't fall apart
When you receive the signal that I'm gone

That I'm gone
That I'm gone
That I'm
Gone

Kept Behind Glass

She smiles and the darkness recoils
And for once, there is a light in my gloom
But I'm not hiding or holding out, not keeping my head down
Quite the opposite in fact, I'm following it out, its guiding

And her hearts caged like a beast,
A prisoner of its own uncertainty
I feel like I'm the one who belongs in chains
Weight of the world pushing down on my chest
With thoughts of her in my brain
A predator in love, a concept so strange

And I can't,
Can't keep my hands to myself,
Can't keep my hands to myself

Try and respect her space, try to look and not taste
But the air around her becomes too much to take
So I swallow the bad thoughts down, chase my demons out
And try to put on a not so deadly looking face

And her hearts caged like a beast,
A prisoner of its own uncertainty
I feel like I'm the one who belongs in chains
Weight of the world pushing down on my chest
With thoughts of her in my brain
A predator in love, a concept so strange

And I can't,
Can't keep my hands to myself,
Can't keep my hands to myself
Can't keep, no can't keep, can't keep my

I can't keep my distance, every moment away
Becomes another moment wasted of another wasted day
All that I see, needing her more than I need to breathe
Could this just get any worse

Can't keep, can't keep, can't keep my
Can't keep, can't keep, can't keep my
Can't keep, can't keep, can't keep my
Hands, hands to myself, hands to myself
Hands to, myself, no

Taking Back Honesty

So this is the way you wanted things to go
I could sit here pretending that I didn't know
But we both know the truth is that you were the one in the dark
Oh what a change for me to be the one leading you on

Cause its not a lie
(I made you believe it)
Cause its no mistake
(And you just repeat it)
Cause its no lie
(I made you believe it)
Yeah its no mistake
(And you just repeat it)

So this is the way that I'll let you know
I could sit here pretending that I didn't go
Behind your back while smiling to your face
Oh what a change for me to be the one leading the way

Cause its not a lie
(I made you believe it)
Cause its no mistake
(And you just repeat it)
Cause its no lie
(I made you believe it)
Yeah its no mistake
(And you just repeat it)

This is the way that things ended up
One of us looking clean, the other face down in the mud
And we could pretend that we both had the other fooled
But I'd never try take your place as most deceptive

And you know

I could do worse than to (Let you)
You could do worse than to (Let me)
I could do worse to (You)
You could do worse to (Me)

I could do worse than to (Lie to you)
You could do worse than to (Lie to me)
I could do worse to you than you, ever did to me
So lets end this on one final note, make this cut clean

I could do worse than to let you lie to me
And you could do worse than to let me lie to you
If we both pretend, if we both believe
Then I think we could get to how, things ought to be

Drawing Connections

Escape as an objective, a person as a criminal
We turn these things into persona when we label
Every word with its attachments like an email
As if life and memories were compressible

I've been processed and filed
I've been robbed of my smile
I've been so caught up in

Everything I said that wouldn't go through
You're so stubborn when you're angry
Everything I said you wouldn't listen to
You're so beautiful when you scream at me
Everything I said that ended up dead
With you on the floor

With you, with you
With you on the floor

Eternal as a concept, religion as reality
We turn these things into necessities
And every page becomes a binding chain
As if free will was consign-able

I've been processed and filed
I've been robbed of my smile
I've been so caught up in
(So caught up in you)


Everything that wouldn't go through
You're so stubborn when you're angry
Everything you wouldn't listen to
You're so beautiful when you scream at me
Everything that ended up dead with you on the floor

And everyone screaming for just one more

I've been on standby
I've been on call
I've been watching, waiting
For you to fall

The Indecisive One

It was a year ago on this day, that you were taken away
Despite what they tell me, I know its all my fault
But I keep the blame locked in my brain, my vault
Where all my secrets are kept safe

She asked me how would I feel if you were the one walking away
I said well I guess at that point I wouldn't be feeling anything
But I was just dodging the question, so as not to tell her the truth
That I'd do anything if the one standing here today had been you

And I just feel so guilty, (like the blood was on my hands)
Somethings just have to be left unsaid, (like children put to bed)
Or I'll be left with only this (or the condemned put to death
Choice that I can't make, (oh what a change)
For me to be the indecisive one (me, the indecisive one)

It was a year ago on this day, they asked me to speak but
There are somethings I can't bring myself to say
But you had told me, to always make sure, in the event of tragedy
Not to let them tell lies at your funeral

She asked me how would I feel if you were the one speaking today
I said well I guess at that point I wouldn't be feeling anything
But I was just dodging the question, so as not to tell her the truth
That I'd do anything if the one standing here today had been you

And I just feel so guilty, (like the blood was on my hands)
Somethings just have to be left unsaid, (like children put to bed)
Or I'll be left with only this (or the condemned put to death
Choice that I can't make, (oh what a change)
For me to be the indecisive one (me, the indecisive one)

They changed all my words.

They changed all my words.

The things I never said were the only things that ended up in your head. The secondhand nature of the words that were said that I was supposed to have said but never did doomed any chance I might've had. In the deception of my enemies you placed your faith and now this has become a race to set things right. I have to get ahold of your ears before your trust solidifies in the traitor's eyes.

They changed all my words.

Disappointments

In the final disappointment
Resulting from your last chance
I take my final bow
Before our last dance

All the picture frames are face down
All of your stuff been boxed and taken out
But in the eyes of the cat I still see your face
So whenever he looks directly at me
I just shoo him away (Cause I can't bare to see...)

It's all been said, and we've concluded
That any thoughts of us together
Were just another one of our mutual delusions
We're not getting anywhere except nowhere
So if this is all we're meant to be (We are masses of nothing)
Consider this my most heartfelt faked apology

Yeah I can see it written all over your face
So let me save you the trouble in this space
I promise from now on I'll be self-sufficient
And my hatred will let me stop eating (I'll be self-sustaining)
I'll have no dependencies on anyone else
So I can concentrate on being disappointed in me

It's all been said, and we've concluded
That any thoughts of us together
Were just another one of our mutual delusions
We're not getting anywhere except nowhere
So if this is all we're meant to be (We are masses of nothing)
Consider this my most heartfelt faked apology

I am a self-sustaining hateful being (Yeah you've created a monster)
Far too lost to be found (The most wayward of sons)
On a path perpetually searching for meaning
So if the next raindrop running down this window
Makes it to the bottom before I finish this thought
Then I'll call you before I finish this song
And let you know its happened again

It's all been said, and we've concluded (I said I'd)
That any thoughts of us together (Promised)
Were just another one of our mutual delusions (I'd keep you out of)
We're not getting anywhere except nowhere (Promised I'd keep you)
So if this is all we're meant to be (Out of)
Consider this my most heartfelt faked apology (My songs)

Candystripes

Let me take this opportunity to say
That I've had patience up until this day
Though I'm young I feel old and gray
And I think its time to kneel and pray
That I don't have to kill you to escape

This is no normal jail break
Do you have any idea what it takes
To keep running, keep running
As the people cheer my name
This is no normal jail break
Do you have any idea what it takes
To keep this going, to keep this
Going, going

Going to say that I've lost my regrets
I took my concerns and threw them over the fence
While they were strapped, to my leg, so up and over
Up and over I go, on the wind of the hope
Sacrificed to get me this far

This is no normal jail break
Do you have any idea what it takes
To keep running, keep running
As the people cheer my name
This is no normal jail break
Do you have any idea what it takes
To keep this going, to keep this
Going, going

This is how we do things here
This is no mere charade
This is life without shame

Cause this is no normal jail break
Yeah this is everything
This is no normal jail break (jail break)
This is everything

Running Away, On Empty

You listed my value like this was a yard sale
Listed my features like an old stereo
Though I can see how you drew the comparison
I used to sing to you, I used to bring to you
Feelings you just couldn't get anywhere else

But all the same, this is too late a date
They've put out the new model
And the scratches on my shell are evident
We both know how this has to go

So what's sentimental have to do
With what you've gotten yourself into
So what's sentimental have to do
With what you're about to

But oh, your mother pulls me off the table
Says you're not thinking clearly, you're not stable
You'll want to keep him on the shelf, a reminder
Though I can see how she is so mistaken
I'm the only thing left of you that this new life hasn't taken

But all the same, this is too late a date
They've put out the new model
And the scratches on my shell are evident
We both know how this has to go

So what's sentimental have to do
With what you've gotten yourself into
So what's sentimental have to do
With what you're about to

And the little girl who asks her mother
If she can have me, is in for a surprise
Cause despite the information stated
You never took into account how jaded, this experience
Has made me now

But all the same, this is too late a date
They've put out the new model
And the scratches on my shell are evident
We both know how this has to go

So what's sentimental have to do
With what you've gotten yourself into
So what's sentimental have to do
With what you're about to
Whats it have to do
With what you're about
To lose

Faith Hath Failed

I only accept those
Who've accepted their fate
I can't compromise when you cheapen
The life that we make

And you condemn me
For not accepting his son
You'd just as soon crucify me
Though I respect what he's done

So, what ever this is
That you've become
It isn't what he taught
It isn't what he'd want
Do as he would have done
Do as he, do as he
As he would have done

I only accept that
This is an answer unfound
And all that can be under my feet
Is the solid ground

And you condemn me
Cause I don't think I'll float away
Be it down to fire, or in a chariot bright as day

So, what ever this is
That you've become
It isn't what he taught
It isn't what he'd want
Do as he would have done
Do as he, do as he
As he would have done

Some Things Never Change

Its so easy to get lost
Because she's oh so hot
Oh yeah she's the latest
Which makes her the greatest
And I'm the fool on the end
Barely pictured, and pretend
That I've got a map,
That I can see the trap
That she is
That she is

A personal approach just wont do
I can't touch you too much or I'll
Explode, and overflow, into tomorrow
Now is that what you want me to
A personal approach just wont do
I can't touch you too much or I'll
Explode, and overflow, into tomorrow
Now is that what you want me to

Say, is that what you want me to say
Cause you're the latest
You're the greatest
I can see their approval
Seeping out of their eyes
I can see the knife you hold behind
Your back, awaiting the
Opportunity to attack
Well I've got the map
I can see you're just a trap
And I'm not falling

A personal approach just wont do
I can't touch you too much or I'll
Explode, and overflow, into tomorrow
Now is that what you want me to
A personal approach just wont do
I can't touch you too much or I'll
Explode, and overflow, into tomorrow
Now is that what you want me to

Some things never change
Some things just can't
And some things just don't want to
Don't want to
Some things never change
Some things just can't
And some things just don't want to
Don't want to
Don't want to

Post Mortum Mash

It was all laid out in front of me
She's dead, getting cold on the bed, profusely bleeding
It was all set up, they framed me
They put her in my life, put my prints on the knife
I can already see the news headlines
I can already see the ending

You call this a catastrophe
But darker the sun gets
The better I see
You call this a catastrophe
But darker the sun gets
The better I see

It was all the fault of the jury
They were business men, I was an artist and a friend
It was all set up, they hate me
They're gonna put me away for life, no argument or strife
And I can already see the headlines


You call this a catastrophe
But darker the sun gets
The better I see
You call this a catastrophe
But darker the sun gets
The better I see

You call this a life sentence
But I'm just laughing
Could this get any better
You have saved me

You call this a life sentence
But I'm just laughing
Could this get any better
You have saved me

You saved me from the sun
Saved the next girl from the gun
Saved this situation from escalating
I didn't want to be the one
But you make it so much fun
The way your detective looks
When he's onto something

You saved me from the sun
Saved the next girl from the gun
Saved this situation from escalating
I didn't want to be the one
But you make it so much fun
The way she looks when shes decaying

Turnstop

Her eyes were so bright as she told me
Everything I ever wanted to know
About silence and the severity
Of what was to happen, if she was to leave

And I, the furthest flung of fallen man
Wonder if fate will be the last one to shake my hand
Then I'll be waiting down by the shore line
Singing of legends engraved into my eyes

Feed me those lines, and describe
Everything you saw
How you ended up, in the back of this car
Feed me those lies, and describe
Everything I need
Because this is the last note I'll breathe

Her eyes were so bright as she told me
All the things I never wanted to know
About the legendary man, who can
Destroy me with his words

And I, the most hopeless sucker in this land
Wonder if fate will be the last one to shake my hand
I'll be waiting down by the shore line
With envy of all the things she got to see with her own eyes

Feed me those lines, and describe
Everything you saw
How you ended up, in the back of this car
Feed me those lies, and describe
Everything I need
Because this is the last note I'll breathe

This is the last chance I'll give you to leave
This is the last chance I'll give you to leave
This is the last chance, I'll give you to breathe
Before I put you under and call your mother
To inform her of you, the newly deceased

Mangled Mankind

In their ignorance
They ask for the monster
The truth escaping them
But that wont matter for long
On this, collision course

And in their shame,
They ask for my hate
That they might be given reason
To destroy all I wish to make
Rob the world of this creator
The end to which their means cater

So tell me if I
Were to go and die
Would you believe
Whatever the note I left said
Would you believe the news
Leave me for dead
Yeah
So tell me if I
Were to go and die
Would you believe
Whatever the note I left said
Would you believe the news
Leave me for dead

In their final hours
They ask for the predatory prowler
And they know not the danger
Of this creeping howler
No surprise in the resulting
Blood shower

In their world, there is no hope
The shame has become their rope
And after spending their life, growing a tree
Made of dreams sacrificed for a greater conformity

So tell me,
Are you ready
So tell me,
Is it time
What will be
Your last line

An Acoustic Gone Tragic

I was in love once,
Or perhaps, that's not quite the word
I was enthralled, I was obsessed
Moments spent watching her lips
Were the best, that I could ask for
Who would want more, then the sound of her voice
I swear she could make the miserable rejoyce

And she loved me once,
Or perhaps those aren't the words,
Perhaps that's just absurd
Cause it was multiple occasions,
Though she may dispute how many times,
There was no reason or rhyme,
But if they were real, then I've seen you at your best
And I've seen you right before you fell,
Yeah I know those eyes can attest

Such wonder in the eyes
I'm just surprised
She doesn't need a disguise
Just to go out, to go out
They must not see what I see
She must not be in their dreams
Cause if they saw this angel in front of me
They wouldn't be happy, without her
Just like I'm not happy now
Yeah, that's why I wear this frown
That's why I'm breakin' down

And now I see, that once
Or maybe twice or a few times, I was a mouse
In a team of mice being mislead
For the cheese for the bread
We might as well already been dead
We scurried through her maze, we were all amazed
At the life she gave, and when she took it away
It was haunting, devastating, life changing,
We were her glass for the breaking
Lost souls for the taking

Just because she's all I can think about
Doesn't mean that if I had her, it'd be okay now
Just because she's all, I can talk about
Doesn't mean I'd feel better if she came back now
Just because she's all, I can dream about
Doesn't mean I wouldn't burst at the seams

In an explosion, of withheld words
If she knew now, how absurd, she was
That she made this mistake, that I was the wrong glass to break
Even if she sees now, its too late,
No matter what she speaks, this heart is broken, it will always leak
Always leak, always leak
Always leak

And since she decided we should part,
I wont try to capture her in art,
I wont paint another canvas, wont write another song
Shes gone, and I've accepted this fate,
I will live in this place, accept these meager plates
And never let a tear fall, from my face

La da da, da da da
La da da, da da da

Hmm, de de de, yeah this is all we can be

La da da, da da da

Hmm, de de de, she's better off without me

La da da, da da da
Hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm